Well...
Reached home...
Went to school,
Went out for awhile....

Damn.
Feel so empty...
Haiz.

Supposed to be celebrating today with 2 special people....
Almost cried today while walking down Orchard...
Especially when I was alone,
Surrounded by a large bunch of foreigners....

I wanna cry,
But had to plaster a smile on my face....
Had to have a happy tone too....

Its not that I'm not happy going out...
But the place reminds me of them.
If reminds me so much,
I almost went mad.

Its good that you didn't sense.
My ability to hide didn't diminish at all yeah?

Anyway,
This year.

Its one tough one.
School,
Family,
Social....
Hadn't been easy.

=School=
School wasn't that bad,
Except for the damn projects and stuff.
Now stuck with attachment before my final year.

=Band=
My God...
My tone's getting really bad to worse...
Totally no idea how to improve....
And there are some social aspects in both bands...
Need to improve on them.
Its not I hold a grudge on anybody...
But really...
Hard to explain...
But I really am stressed at some point of time...
Concert coming,
Still in a mess....
No one's caring...
Wtf.

Laoshi's retired,
Leonard Tan came....
Well...
I'm neutral about that la.
Haha.
At least its Mr Tan...
Not some weird person.... =)

=Social=
I'm making more friends,
Deepening friendships with some,
As well as losing contact with others.
I really feel bad when I contact someone only when I need their help.
I mean,
I really wonder what actually made me 'forget' and lose contact with them...
I am busy,
But that isn't an excuse...
Better improve that.

3 friends passed away this year.
Sonny,
Davian and Peter.

It really broke my heart...
The pain still exists now.
And worse,
I couldn't fly to America to attend their funeral.
I couldn't even see and ask how Grandma,
Susan and Mike are doing.
Mark and Sharon seemed to have blocked me from their contact,
My e-mails aren't replied.

To say the truth,
I really haven't accepted their passing totally.
I don't know...
It seemed that they'll come back one fine day.
Everytime I walk outdoors,
Especially when in the Orchard area like today,
I always have this feeling that they'll just appear and hug me.
Maybe it is just my hope.
I'm desperate for any sign,
Any evidence that they're still alive.
But the truth is,
They're really gone.
No one will joke about such stuff,
Especially ones concerning deaths of others.

Dave and Peter....
I'll always always love you both.
I'll NEVER ever forget you guys.
As I told Mark,
Both you rascals had done and changed me so much,
Its impossible for me to ever forget you.
Thank you for accepting me,
Letting me be your Teddyjay.
Thank you for changing me into this person I am today.
Thank you both for bringing me outta my shell.
Thank you for making me like myself.
Thank you for making me feel so loved.
If it weren't for you guys' encouragements and words,
I'd have died by now.

Really thank you.
Love you always,
And remember to watch me from above!
I'll do my best to live each day to the best I can,
Bringing warmth and happiness to those who need it.
I'll always remember the candle theory.
Thank you both.

Sonny,
Though I haven't known you for long,
Thank you for all you've done for me.
Thank you for allowing me to be in KSWS.
Thank you for accompanying me and filling me with answers when I have doubts.
Thank you for fetching me and Charlie home after practices and the last concert,
Thank you for encouraging me.
I'll do my best to break the 'no solo' barrier.
I'll always remember the day where you patted my back and told Lawrence to train me up.
Thank you very very much.
Those days on the trains home together,
In your car,
In the band room talking,
The lunches and dinners after band,
The audition,
I'll never forget them.
Thank you very very much.

=Family=
My family...
Dunno...
I feel that my distance from them has been getting further and further...
Desperately trying to pull them back...
Its almost impossible...
I have my own stuff now.
Band,
School.

The Cameron Highlands/Ipoh trip almost made me cry.
You forgot that I was sitting beside you.
You forgot that I was behind you.
Dad...
What happened?
I wish you'd love me the way you did when I was young.
Before Eve.
Before Yi Ping.
I wish that you'd notice me more,
Dote on me more.

You only remember me when I am not home by 10PM.
I tried to do many things.
I stopped Sunday practices,
Like you told me to.
But on some Sundays,
You scold me even when I am sitting down watching tv.
Sometimes,
You even scold me for doing things you taught me when I was young.
You almost forgotten me since Eve was born.
I wish you'd notice me more.
Since I was in Kindergarden.
But it seems that you're forgetting me more and more as I grow.
Why?

Mom.
I still love you.
Thanks for the sms-es.
I know I can't always be home in the day,
Sometimes at night too.
But thank you.
Continue to leave food for me at night.
I'll eat them when I get back home,
Even if you complain that I'd get fat. =)

=Personal=
My personality...
Haha.
Difficult to change.
Well,
At least I managed to change my outer appearance...
Lively,
Happy,
Bubbly...

Inside is still haha.
Boo la.
I'll do my best.
As you guys said,
"Ben xing nan gai."
Take time.
I'll do my best.

Many good things happened too...

Passed my tests and exams!

Amy and Ah Long gorgor got engaged!

Met many new friends like Xiu Mei,
Si Hao,
Si Ying,
Azmi,
Yong An,
The SP ppl like Momo,
Dustin,
Yuan Jun and Wei Jie!

Then there's Esther,
Guo Liang,
The tubists like Eugene,
Alex,
Nelson,
Khee Yang and the others!

Met and got to know many people in school during attachment in school too!
Hahaha.
SBMCSCDBS.
WOo!
You guys rock man!
Continue the lame jokes,
Cam whoring and nursery rhymes!
Not forgetting the ghost stories too!

Got to know the KSWS people better too!

And the MOST MOST MOST important!!
Baby Alicia is born this year!!
Congrats to Lawrance and Amy!

Guys,
Thanks for brightening up my life!
Hahaha.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Reflection almost done ba?

Think what to do next year ba?

Year 2008 resolutions:
01. Jiayou for upcoming attachments!
02. Family!!
03. Study hard hard!
04. Jiayou eupho!
- Try to lay my hands on an Arban book
- Practice it!
- Find ways to improve sound!
- Jiayou SL!
05. Make more friends!
06. Stay in contact with existing friends!
07. Go out more!
- Must find cycling kakis!
- Mom says MUST go shop for feminine clothes
(Yucks)
- Go zoo!
- Go Sentosa!
08. Find new job instead of getting stuck in Kumon!
09. Improve self-confidence!
10. Get and learn Photoshop!
11. Get PSP! (Counted anot?)
12. Get a Camera! (Counted anot?)
13. Get a boyfriend! (My sis insisted.... Boo you la!)

That's all for now la!
Haha!

I'm soo sleepy...
Don't feel like counting down...
Think maybe go sleep ba!

Happy New Year to all!!!
May all your hope and dreams come true!
MUST work hard toward your goals ah!
=)

Oh ya!!
Before I forget,

Happy Birthday,
Ah Loy!!!!