Went to take a last look at Paul before going to school for CCM lesson today.
Haohao and Loy took leave from NS for 2 days,
Went with Chris and Hong.

It wasn't till I looked into the coffin that I realized that he had grown so much thinner compared to 2 years ago .
But he looked so peaceful,
Like he was just sleeping there.

It seemed like a big nightmare...
Seeing your friend lie there like that.
Makes you want to lose control,
Open that bloody cover and shake him up.
Wishing that he'd laugh and say that it's all a joke.

But it's not.
I'm not going to see his smile anymore.
The 5 of us just broke down when we walked round his coffin today.

He's so young...
Only 20.
Why did it have to be him?
He's such a good boy,
Like a big brother to me.
He fought cancer so bravely...
He took up chemo.
Why did it have to turn out this way?

But then,
Its good in a way...
At least he has no need to suffer anymore...
1 year of suffering those side effects of the chemotherapy...
Must be really difficult for him.
Seeing him in suffering makes my heart bleed when used to visit him.
But he doesn't have to go through that now.
So I can't cry,
Have to be strong.

Just want to say goodbye, Paul.
I'm sorry I can't send you off tomorrow.
But thank you for all you've done for us.
Though you can't be with us now,
You will continue to live within our hearts.
I'm sure of that.