Think some people have got it wrong when I said I like him.
Some people will know what I mean....
Lol.

Honestly thinking,
I think I created abit of a mistake in my message...
When I said I like him,
It's in a friend friend context....
Meaning,
"He really is a good boy...." kind of thinking.

LOL.
Now I know why they always tease me with him...
I finally know why,
After about 1 year of teasing...

KAoz...
I think I damn slow and ci dai can....

Anyway,
It's a weird realization that hit me at 3 in the morning...
OMG.
And there's a presentation later on at 10.30AM,
Meaning I'll have to wake up at 7.30AM.
And this popped up in my mind???
Lol.

Probably due to my mom and sis asking me recently if I have a boyfriend/having one/have someone I like....
And believe me,
It's not only my mom.
It's going to drive me nuts soon.

I do have someone I like.

And I believe,
No.
I CONFIRM that it could work out,
Cos he's the one that liked me 1st.
He liked me ever since we 1st went out together with his brother.
It took me quite awhile,
Years in fact (with hints from his brother and family) for silly me to notice,
As well as that I've actually fallen for him too.
(KENNETH would probably know what I meant.)

I don't know...
He was the one that made me step out and look into the outside world.
He's the one that gave me confidence in everything I do,
No matter how small.
He's the one that changed my perception on life.

We somehow shared a bond together...
I used to feel it when we were together...
We could know when the other was sad,
What we wanted to say or explain without much words or signals.

And there's always the feeling that I could do anything when I'm with him,
And the feeling that I'm safe with him,
I could depend on him.

It's like a brother-sister bond,
Yet it feels much closer.
Don't know how to describe it.

Yup.
So much for what people call a soul-mate...
Can't believe it took me years to realize it.

But the only problem now is that he's gone.
He died in a car accident.

Poof.

Gone.

Just like that.


Though he's gone for more than half a year,
I still think of him everyday.
I can't help it.

Everything seems to remind me of him.
Seeing the stuff he gave me,
Flipping the pages of my dairy,
Seeing my instrument,
Scores,
Seeing the screen saver on my laptop,
Listening to songs......

The feeling in my heart is so heavy.
Everyday.
Every single day without fail.
It's impossible for me to forget him,
And it was also partly the reason for the breakup for my last relationship.

Sometimes I really wonder if I'll meet someone that I will like as much that will like me back as much as he does.
I really wonder.
Even if that happens,
Will I even have the courage to put him aside as a past and re-accept the other person?
I really wonder.


I shall say no more.
End of story.