OMG.
Recently damn stressful,
Many reports,
Many deadlines.
And Mrs Chua's calling and pressing me at the wrong time to work.
I'm having TEP now,
Working my ass off for no allowance every weekday from 8.30AM to 5.30PM.
I have assignments and reports to hand up,
And even if I go,
The time I reach Ubi is about 7PM?
What about my dinner?
The centre closes at 9PM,
I don't see the point going down for 2 hours,
When the peak period for the kids are over.
My TEP;
NO term holidays,
Starting year 3 the week following the end of attachment.
The Saturday opening time clashes with my band,
And the centre doesn't operate on Sundays.
Thats for work.
Then there the KSWS instrument stuff that I haven't settle.
OMG.
This Sat cannot go down liao.
Haruka's farewell gathering.
8th March cannot go,
Family gathering.
Someone's birthday,
Cannot go late.
Gonna miss practice again,
OMG.
I really dunno what to do,
Which one to start 1st.
People often say 'work' & 'family' comes 1st.
But to me,
Band,
Work,
Family and friends...
The 3 are equally important,
But they just can't seem to balance.
Spend more time with one,
The other 2 get left out.
Haruka chan's gonna leave Singapore,
Not gonna see her for months.
And because practice is on Saturdays,
Sunday for my personal time,
I had postponed many of my outings with Cheryl and her.
Already not worthy as a friend.
The most I can do now is at least attend this friend gathering for now.
And I really missed Cheryl and her too.
And Cheryl's so desperate to see me,
She made me swear I'll attend.
Feel so bad la.
As for the family aspect,
My family from my mother's side are very closely knitted together.
The KSWS ppl might know already,
Judging by the number of family gatherings I had.
I feel that I'd already let down my parents so much with band.
The weekends used to be family day.
Saturday for gatherings or going out,
Sunday for staying home and rest or laze around together before working or going to school on Monday.
After KSWS changed practice to Saturday,
It kinda really loosened the family bond quite abit.
Don't say band.
After I attended poly,
I had times where I reach home late due to lessons and stuff.
I can have a few days in a week where I reach home at 11+PM when mY family is asleep,
Then leave in the morning for school/attachment,
Never seeing Ubi during the day.
I'm like just going home to sleep.
Family gatherings are on Saturdays,
Because if we put it on Sundays,
The kids and adults might be too tired to go to school/work.
And people are tired on Fridays.
So,
When there are family gatherings,
I arrive and get 'said' for being late.
And somehow,
I get jealous when dad brings my sisters and mom out on Saturdays (when there are no family gatherings) when I was having band practice.
Sure,
They buy stuff for me,
But that isn't what I want.
I want to go out with them too.
Its not the presents,
Its the time together that I want.
Its not KSWS nor my family's fault that practice changed to Saturday.
Its just more convienent for most people,
As Sunday is the official family day.
KSWS.
Is VERY important to me.
VERY VERY important.
Its like my second home.
I feel belonged there,
Not like NYPSO.
Dunno how to explain.
Being in committee is a great thing.
I want to be part of the band,
Want to help out,
Bring up its name.
But I'm gonna need to put in alot of time and effort in it.
But after like 1/2 month I got into the post,
I still feel damn useless.
Still unsure about many things.
Lawrence said "If don't know, can ask me."
The problem now is,
I'm so stupid,
I don't even know what to ask.
People keep telling me,
You need to take a break.
Jiejun, take a break!
But I can't seem to put down any 1 aspect.
Many people keep telling me to take off from band.
WTF.
I get jumpy knowing that the people are having band prac,
And here I am somewhere with this bunch of people.
(Or on my bed when I'm sick.)
Its not that I'm not enjoying my time with friends,
But it just feels wrong.
I'm happy,
But not totally happy.
Don't know how to explain.
Just the kind of feeling like running away from the place and going Kimseng.
Dunno la.
For now,
Heck about work.
Recently damn stressful,
Many reports,
Many deadlines.
And Mrs Chua's calling and pressing me at the wrong time to work.
I'm having TEP now,
Working my ass off for no allowance every weekday from 8.30AM to 5.30PM.
I have assignments and reports to hand up,
And even if I go,
The time I reach Ubi is about 7PM?
What about my dinner?
The centre closes at 9PM,
I don't see the point going down for 2 hours,
When the peak period for the kids are over.
My TEP;
NO term holidays,
Starting year 3 the week following the end of attachment.
The Saturday opening time clashes with my band,
And the centre doesn't operate on Sundays.
Thats for work.
Then there the KSWS instrument stuff that I haven't settle.
OMG.
This Sat cannot go down liao.
Haruka's farewell gathering.
8th March cannot go,
Family gathering.
Someone's birthday,
Cannot go late.
Gonna miss practice again,
OMG.
I really dunno what to do,
Which one to start 1st.
People often say 'work' & 'family' comes 1st.
But to me,
Band,
Work,
Family and friends...
The 3 are equally important,
But they just can't seem to balance.
Spend more time with one,
The other 2 get left out.
Haruka chan's gonna leave Singapore,
Not gonna see her for months.
And because practice is on Saturdays,
Sunday for my personal time,
I had postponed many of my outings with Cheryl and her.
Already not worthy as a friend.
The most I can do now is at least attend this friend gathering for now.
And I really missed Cheryl and her too.
And Cheryl's so desperate to see me,
She made me swear I'll attend.
Feel so bad la.
As for the family aspect,
My family from my mother's side are very closely knitted together.
The KSWS ppl might know already,
Judging by the number of family gatherings I had.
I feel that I'd already let down my parents so much with band.
The weekends used to be family day.
Saturday for gatherings or going out,
Sunday for staying home and rest or laze around together before working or going to school on Monday.
After KSWS changed practice to Saturday,
It kinda really loosened the family bond quite abit.
Don't say band.
After I attended poly,
I had times where I reach home late due to lessons and stuff.
I can have a few days in a week where I reach home at 11+PM when mY family is asleep,
Then leave in the morning for school/attachment,
Never seeing Ubi during the day.
I'm like just going home to sleep.
Family gatherings are on Saturdays,
Because if we put it on Sundays,
The kids and adults might be too tired to go to school/work.
And people are tired on Fridays.
So,
When there are family gatherings,
I arrive and get 'said' for being late.
And somehow,
I get jealous when dad brings my sisters and mom out on Saturdays (when there are no family gatherings) when I was having band practice.
Sure,
They buy stuff for me,
But that isn't what I want.
I want to go out with them too.
Its not the presents,
Its the time together that I want.
Its not KSWS nor my family's fault that practice changed to Saturday.
Its just more convienent for most people,
As Sunday is the official family day.
KSWS.
Is VERY important to me.
VERY VERY important.
Its like my second home.
I feel belonged there,
Not like NYPSO.
Dunno how to explain.
Being in committee is a great thing.
I want to be part of the band,
Want to help out,
Bring up its name.
But I'm gonna need to put in alot of time and effort in it.
But after like 1/2 month I got into the post,
I still feel damn useless.
Still unsure about many things.
Lawrence said "If don't know, can ask me."
The problem now is,
I'm so stupid,
I don't even know what to ask.
People keep telling me,
You need to take a break.
Jiejun, take a break!
But I can't seem to put down any 1 aspect.
Many people keep telling me to take off from band.
WTF.
I get jumpy knowing that the people are having band prac,
And here I am somewhere with this bunch of people.
(Or on my bed when I'm sick.)
Its not that I'm not enjoying my time with friends,
But it just feels wrong.
I'm happy,
But not totally happy.
Don't know how to explain.
Just the kind of feeling like running away from the place and going Kimseng.
Dunno la.
For now,
Heck about work.
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