I don't want to go to school!!
T.T

Things haven't been going well for me...
At least,
I don't feel it.
Though most people don't know or realize it,
Things are going so wrong at the other side,
And what's worse,
It's not only one party,
It's affecting a few people.
I really don't know what I can do when I'm there.
No one takes me seriously,
People unhappy with each other yet not saying anything,
I have to put up with unhappy people from both sides,
Try to defend when I see the need...
I have to learn expectations and things from scratch.
I know things that many people don't and it upsets me.
I know many experience unhappiness,
But I'm unable to bring it out or do anything.
It's not like I haven't tried to.
I might just get them into deeper misunderstanding and trouble,
And it could worsen the current situation.
This is the main thing that's occupying my mind now.
And it really IS affecting me and eating me inside.

What the hell can I do?
Every time it just get more and more sian.

Yes, sian is the word.

I feel more and more reluctant to go and meet them when I have to.
It's just irritating and sian.
Have to put on happy faces,
Put up with all their laughter and stuff.
There're people speaking without using their brain or showing any emphathy,
They just say what they want to say,
Not caring for the other party's feelings at all.
Discussions take place,
Some criticism,
Some biasedness,
I really hate that.
It's like everyone is targeting everyone else down.
What the fuck is happening??

I just wish everything could be like before.
That IS my second wish.
But every time when I see them,
Things seem to get worse and worse,
The pain increases,
And I really feel that one day,
I might flare or go crazy,
And just kill everyone or myself.
Yes,
The pain's that intense.

I have other personal things to do too...
If this continues,
I might really refuse to have any contact with them anymore...
I don't think I can take it much longer.


I feel like dropping everything and just run away.