I think my phone is going crazy.
It can hang in standby mode,
And While playing Mp3 tunes.
Omg.

The speaker was spoilt yesterday...
As in it made no noise at all.
But,
I kind of "repaired" it when I dropped (or kicked) my phone on the floor.
Heheh.
Not bad right?

Feeling a bit hurt now.
Was chatting on Msn with L just now.
He accused me of making excuses so that I can escape from band prac.

I CAN SWEAR I DIDN'T!
I SWEAR.

I really have things on.
I like band prac.
I look forward to them.
Why do you have to accuse me of something like that?
I'm not one if those people,
Can run then run,
Can escape then escape.
I'm trying so hard to even go regularly.
I argued with my parents,
Broke the regular basis of the whole family going out on Saturdays for dinner.
And appearing late for functions.

I leave earlier in my school band practices,
I secretly put on the mute and practice on the eupho when no one's home,
And when my parents are sleeping.
Isn't that enough?

Recently,
He kept saying things that hurt to me online.
I don't know why.
Did I do something wrong??

Crying now.
Always like that.
Cry so easily.
So useless.

I was thinking,
Should I stop all this??

If I stop band,
I will have more time to study and relax.
I want to go out with my friends,
My family.

My parents will like me more,
I can spend more time with them,
And the arguments with them will stop.

Elieen asked me recently,
"Go for what?
Mr Ng will only cover you mah.
Still got Shishi.
Don't go la!"

This really made me think.
Yeah.
Its true.
I go to KSW for what?
Mr Ng is superb,
Shishi is good,
The whole band seems better than me.
I really don't know.

Why did I join band in the first place?
If I hadn't joined band,
And resumed choir,
What would have happened?

If I didn't join band in secondary school,
I wouldn't like it so much.
No eupho,
No stress,
No arguments,

No music......
No life.









What am I talking?
If I didn't join band,
I wouldn't have met Mr Ng,
Marilyn,
Enru,
And Shuwen!

I wouldn't have met Weishi,
Benny,
Christopher and Andrew!

I wouldn't have met Meiting,
Peiyi,
Gordon,
Hongsheng,
Alvin,
Yong Jun
Huimin,
Ben,
Ibrahim,
Richard,
Brian and all my other friends I have met through band.

I wouldn't have grown up through experiences.
The feeling of being betrayed,
The stress of seeing people being better than you,
The wanting to improve,
And the motivation to improve.

To all who don't understand why your kids or friends are so enthusiastic in band,
This goes out to you.
Hope that you can understand.

Dad,
Mom,
I hope that you understand this too.
I really like music alot.
Really.

I'm trying to make you see how much I like it.
I don't mind carrying my instrument around,
And practicing at home when you are asleep or not at home.

I'm not doing all these to go against you.
I'm trying to tell you that I'm serious.
I'm not just going for band prac to waste my time.
I'm going because I really like it.
I just hope you'll understand this and respect what I've chosen.